Fate awaits....

A long night talk with Jiaying and Yingni yesterday left me pondering.. am I fickle-minded and difficult to understand? I think I am.. I like to change my mind as and when I like it. I can say something now and do another thing to contradict myself the next moment. Perhaps I do not really know what I want yet. I can have a huge crush on someone but will get irritated if people keep mentioning him in my presence. My emotions come and go so fast..and I think somehow that's makes me hard to be comprehended. I do not have trouble getting along with people. It's just that people will find it difficult to understand my traces of thought.. during conversations I can blurt out something else suddenly, expecting the other person to read my mind, and so most fo the time I left them confused and bewildered by my actions. My np friends and close buddies are used to it by now and they always felt amused by my sudden outburst. This is how I keep them entertained somehow.


My close friend told me having a conversation with me is like guessing games.. she never knows what I might say the next moment. My sentences lack coherrence. I feel that being close friends, we do not have to be so cautious. We should be able to speak freely to each other, without worrying that the other person may not understand or feel provoked. Perhaps, this is why I always ended up amusing my friends.


It's difficult to find someone who can really understand me.. the special one who know me for who I am.. able to read me like an open book. Moreover, this weird trait of being so fickle-minded makes me feel that I better stay away from relationships. The other person has to guess my mind and heart everytime we see each other.. which I think will make both of us exhausted eventually. My special one has to tolerate my flaws and accept me for who I am.

posted by Weili~ @ 9:34 PM